Someone,

who is very dear to me, who is one of only a handful of people whose oppinion and thoughts really do matter and make a huge difference to me, suggested that I should adopt the following goal:

Do one thing each and every day for the good of my body, 1 thing for my soul and 1 thing for my heart.

I get the goal, I think it is fabulous....... I want to do it, I just have no idea where to start..... no ideas what little steps to take. This is the problem.... I keep getting small steps, one little change at a time.... but I have no idea what those little changes should be. I don't want to take it on and have it be like all the other life changing goals I have had in the past, big and small, that have ended up on the garbage heap.

Part of me wants to give up completely, to curl up in a ball and sleep years and years away, the other part of me can't.... It just wants to feel whole...... have all the parts close to being in their right place, close enough for comfort and contentment. I have never experienced balance, I have always see sawed..... one part going well and on track and the others dying a nasty death at my feet.... and it's not a case of me being negelectful of some parts and focusing on others. Either way I can't go on and I have to decide now whether to sleep or not.

I think I have managed to annoy some people greatly..... I think that there are some who are about to walk away. That is a bit of a double edged sword really, begged to show the real you, praised for being honest but is it only when one part of who you are is visible........ when they see the rest of it do they change their minds?

Back to the goal....... I am leaning towards it. If nothing else the body part could be the push I need to get back on track in that area..... I have a couple of ideas that might, at a push qualify in the soul department..... the heart however is another matter entirely, I have never been any good there at all..... dealing with mine or anyone elses.