later than normal.....

well for bed time at least, 8.15 and contemplating bed............... when I say contemplating, the air con is on and teeth are brushed and all that is left is a final check of the doors before crawling under the covers. Fingers crossed that sleep comes easily tonight..... I am not a huge drinker but tonight I managed to get rid of a bottle of wine in less than half an hour and the night has been much easier than they have been for months. Maybe that is the trick, don't notice the absolute quietness with a drink in your system.

I wish I hadn't become so attached to the folk beyond the screen....... If I am unable to make my thoughts clear to those in my real world then why the hell would I think that I stood a chance to make them clear when all there is to rely on is the written word (and it is so bloody obvious just how much I suck at that). I promised myself years ago that I would never take those I considered my true friends for granted, that I would always let them know just how important they were to me....... I am really starting to think that that was the wrong thing to do. I just know how I feel when I think no one notices that I care, that my friendship is taken for granted or has no value to them, and I wanted to make sure that no one ever felt that because of me....... my gut is telling me that was the wrong thing to do, that they didn't want to know that.