12th Sept

Do one thing each and every day for the good of my body, 1 thing for my soul and 1 thing for my heart.

OK here goes, let's see if we can finally get somewhere in this life rather than just spending the next 35 years (if I am lucky enough to have that long) repeating the last.

Have decided to keep the date format different to my gratitude list to distinguish the entries.

Today I am really pulling at things to try and fit them into categories.... partly due to the fact that it is nearly 6pm and I have only just decided to give it a go.

Body: Fresh air, I had intended to go to the gym but didn't. I spent the day at home but I have just spent about 40 minutes lying on a picnic blanket at the top of the garden reading in the afternoon breeze.

Soul: Began the detox process on my home. I hate clutter and I have so much of it. I get cabin fever in my four walls, but as I spend so much time on my home here it is about time I made the house somewhere I love rather than a place I dread. Today was some purging in the junk room. I need to sort that out so I can have space to clean up the living parts of the house.

Heart: I think this is always going to be the hard one. It is one that I have always been useless at. I have always refrained from letting my emotions show, and there is a huge amount of past attached to that.... about 18 months ago I made the decision not to do that any longer, to let people I really cared about know that...... at the moment I am having doubts as to whether that was the right thing to do. I have never had so many people around that I cared so much for.... and I have tried to let all of them know that...... but that meant grasping tightly, it became overwhelming and I lost all trust in it. Today I let go..... I decided to take a break from the other site, hopefully the people there haven't got my friendship with them pigeon holed so much that it is totally dependent on being there.... all of them have alternate ways of contacting me. I have faith in them, I have trust in them...... but I don't trust myself to have not stuffed things irreparably. How long that break may be I have no idea, hopefully weeks rather than months.