Things were good,

everything was ok, anything seemed possible, the year was mine for the taking and I was excited about it all................... then that conversation yesterday really threw me, it threw me more than I realised at the time.

I have been left so damn confused by it.......... the contradictions I don't get.......

But most of all I wonder what it is about me that makes people think that I should just accept things as they are (and as I have said before, it is not a case of not finding things each day to be happy about), that make them imply that I shouldn't strive for the same hopes and dreams that everyone else does, that everyone else takes for granted..... the same things that bring them joy......coming across as thinking that I don't deserve them, or have any right to them at all.....

Fuck it all..........